H&P #14 + Flu Shot

This week has been busy, busy, busy!  My fundraiser at Shipwreck Grill was so much fun and exhausting; I feel like it's taken me a whole week to recover.  Thank you, thank you to everyone who came and who was there in spirit.  We are so grateful for the love and generosity of all of you.  (More pictures to come!)  

This is my second treatment in the month of October, Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  At this time of year, more people are aware of breast cancer, and therefore more willing to give to the cause, in a similar way that people tend to be more giving and humble during the month of December, thanks to the spirit of Christmas.  Today is the second day this month that someone has donated lunch to the whole clinic, including patients!  It was sandwiches the first time, and today we're having pizza and fruit.  Someone just said, in response to this donation, "See, having cancer's not always bad!"

I'm having knee surgery on Friday!  This knee has been bothering me off and on for over two years, so I'm excited for the possibilities of having some elimination of once that's healed.  At the preregistration yesterday, the nurse couldn't believe I haven't done something about this problem before now.  As I've explained to several people, "Cancer trumps lots of other things."  That's I am ABLE to have surgery on my knee is a blessing--it means that's the most bothersome health issue in my life right now.  

In other news, my hair is growing and almost long enough for a "real" cut.  In playing around with different styles, I even tried some bangs.  I laughed at myself the minute I saw this look in the mirror, for it reminded me of an image from my childhood.  It's as if I just met my long-lost twin sister at a summer camp and had her cut my hair short like hers in order to fool our parents and pull the switch on them!  

That's more like it:  

It's hard to believe we are almost through October.  We're going to turn around and be celebrating a new year! That means I'm coming up on 1 year of NEV. (No evidence of disease.)  Part of me wants to shout that from the rooftops, and part of me is waiting for lightning to strike again.  I've been having some headaches this week, pretty bad headaches that I can feel in the back of my head and in my sinuses.  They go away, and they could just be attributed to hunger, stress, or lack of sleep, but that little, questioning voice inside wonders....is cancer back?  These are some of the little things I now deal with---every pain and ache, is that cancer?  I try to not focus on that line of thinking, but it's not always easy.  

For now, I just keep on putting one foot in front of the other and have faith that things will work out--no matter how they work out--and that God will keep taking care of me and my family.  

MRI Results

Instead of having an "old soul," I'm beginning to think I'm a young soul in an old body.  

My left knee has been bothering me for a couple of years.  I planned on finally having it looked at last year after Stephen healed from his surgery.  However, cancer overshadowed those plans.  

I had a steroid shot in it earlier in the year that actually helped, but has worn off.  Now, the pain has gotten so annoying that another shot isn't going to help....it was time to see a doctor to see about fixing it and not just trying to cover it up.  

I had an MRI on my left knee on Wednesday.  Yesterday, I got the results:

there were pieces of cartilage "floating around" in there.

And, oh yeah:

ARTHRITIS.  

See?  Old Body.

This body keeps getting cancer and now is starting to be bothered with arthritis.  (I also have it in my hips.)

So.....I'll be having arthroscopic surgery on my knee next Friday to clean out the cartilage that probably broke off from some type of little injury and could now be getting caught underneath the joint and causing pain.  There will be two small incisions in my knee: one for a camera and one for the tools.  The incisions won't be the cause of pain; they won't even be large enough to need stitches or staples.  The pain of the surgery will be on the inside, from all the digging around to clear out the cartilage.  

I'll be on crutches for 24-48 hours, not able to drive for a few days, and will need about 6 weeks of recovery, with some physical therapy.  

It's always something.      

H&P #13

Breast Cancer Awareness Month has started off with a bang.

Between being nominated as a recipient of a local fundraiser, hearing my book should be coming out this month, attending the Surviving and Thriving luncheon, and now back at treatment, the month already feels much longer than 4 days.  

Last year, I was invited to attend Pink Alliance's luncheon as a guest of a physician friend who owns a local free-standing ER.  As big donors, the ER had their own table in a prime location.  My second cancer diagnosis was still fresh, so much so that I was called on stage as the survivor with the newest diagnosis.  This year, I was barely able to get tickets, as the even was sold out so quickly, and I had been placed on a waiting list.  I was able to secure tickets for myself and some fellow Boobers! I was surprised when all the breast cancer survivors were asked to stand that less that half of the packed room stood up from their chairs.  Then, when the same invitation for the newest survivors to remain standing was made to this year's crowd, my memories from last year immediately flooded back.  It seems like a lifetime ago, yet still so fresh. 

The biggest piece of advice I took from the inspirational speaker, Texan Kendra Scott, was about failure and hardships.  WE HAVE TO HAVE THEM.  All the failures and struggles of her life have actually been bridges that have prepared her for being ready for what comes next.  She lost her step-father to brain cancer, her first business (The Hat Box--hats for cancer patients and more)  went under, she started peddling jewelry in a tea box, also while carrying her newborn son, was told that a major fashion brand could never come out of Texas, has lost close friends to breast cancer.....all of these have prepared her and pushed her into what she has been able to accomplish so far.  She has an amazing philanthropic philosophy and is doing an amazing program for breast cancer this month.  20% of her sales of specific jewelry will be donated to Breast Cancer Research Foundation, AND a second piece of jewelry will be donated to a breast cancer patient.  She will even be sending hand written notes of love and encouragement to those patients.  (We got to write some at the luncheon!)  Go to her website, HERE, to find out more!  She's spreading the mantras: Hope Matters and "You do good."  (The 3-word phrase her late step-father was able to speak after brain surgery in response to her opening her hat store.)  We can all "do good" with what we have been given.

Who knows how long any of us has here on earth.  I know that time is best spent trying to make a difference in the lives of those around us.  Find the things that you are passionate about and talented in and find a way to "do good."

Treasure the Chests

An awesome local couple, owners of two restaurants in our community, do something quite special for Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  Every Tuesday in October, they hold a fundraiser at each of their restaurants for one recipient, and I WAS CHOSEN AS ONE!!!

My day will be Tuesday, October 18th, at the Shipwreck Grill.  A portion of their total sales for both lunch and dinner will be donated to our family.  I am so touched and grateful for this opportunity, and hope to be able to give back in my own small way.  I'm trying to get together a basket of items to auction off, the proceeds going back to my breast cancer support group!

Another way to help, Shipwreck Grill will be selling these t-shirts, by CC Creations, for $15...the proceeds being donated to Pink Alliance.

I could not be more honored for their opportunity and hope to see lots of loved ones, as well as make some new friends on October 18th!

Don't forget your annual check-ups, as well as self-exams.  My prayer is that one day soon we will not have to worry about this awful disease.  Until then, "Treasure the Chests," and check or get checked often!



**If you are not able to come eat lunch or dinner that day. Go on another Tuesday in October, or consider donating to our family HERE.

H&P #12, Meeting with Fleener

I started out my day today by meeting with Dr. Fleener.  She seemed happy that my PET was "looking great" and that I'm still in remission!  My echo also was also in normal range.  We still can't figure out how to stop the rash/psuedo-acne reaction to chemo, but I found out it's not just me; there's another patient that is also dealing with this, so we are guinea pigs of how to fix it.  It's *so fun* being a subject of a scientific experiment.  

I expressed some concern over weight gain.  

What can I do?  

What could be causing this? 

 Is this a side-effect of all the drugs I'm on?  

Dr. Fleener, bless her, hadn't noticed my weight gain, but when she looked back in my records, she was like, "Whoa!  You've gained 30 lbs. in a year!!!"  Well, *fun for me,* my body's hormones are all out of whack (see below), and that could be contributing to it.  Another possibility, after chemo, my metabolism has probably gone WAY DOWN, like almost non-existent, so just changing my diet won't be enough.  I have to really start exercising in a way that will get my heart rate up enough to help jumpstart my metabolism.  In addition, I still can only eat about 1200 calories a day.  I'm also having my thyroid tested, just in case, as I'm "getting to the age" where that could become a problem.  Dr. Fleener said that she's not going to push me or worry too much about my weight, but "to have the best effect on my body for the future," it's a good idea for me to try to lose as much as possible.  I love her!  

(I went to the OB/GYN yesterday to try to see what's going on with my body.  My cycle is completely out of whack, as in I bleed fairly heavily ALL.THE.TIME.  Dr. J guessed that this is happening because I'm still ovulating, but have gone through chemo and took Tamoxifen, which started to put me into early menopause, but now my body is trying to swing back but can't because my hormones are not balanced.   She said that they usually don't have to worry about this because women who have stage 4 cancer are usually old enough to be done with menopause.  Again, *fun for me!  She did an exam, then sent me for a vaginal ultrasound, to make sure there are no polyps or other problems that could be causing this problem.  Then, she took a sample---OUCH!  It felt like she was swabbing out my entire uterine lining BEFORE she got the sample!  In fact, I sat up afterwards and was immediately light-headed and had to lie back down.  Now, we wait for results.  If they are all negative, we will talk about doing an IUD to try to regulate me.  Let's hope because the cycle is supposed to be about 28 days, not bleeding for 28 days out of every month!)

Then, when I walked back to sign in for treatment, I heard, "Melodee!" and turned around to a huge surprise!  Some of my fellow Boobers! came to surprise me and hang out while I had treatment!!!  How sweet!!!  They also brought muffins and berries and several other snacks! I have missed the last few meetings, so it was nice to get to catch up!!! (Grace, Chris, & Me.....Christy showed up later, and I forgot to take another picture!!!)

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With the recent commemoration of the 15th anniversary of 9/11, I have seen many inspiring and uplifting quotes.  One that stuck with me was about humankind being above all other creatures for our ability to have compassion and caring for other people, even those we do not know.  We have the natural desire to help others and make a difference, to relate to others, even though our own experiences may vary.  

How true this is with trials.  We all experience different struggles.  Even those who have similar experiences (breast cancer for one) will go through them differently.  Although our individual hardships vary, we all learn universal values, such as faith, patience, compassion, strength, etc., through trials.  In recognizing these values that are strengthened by different tests of life, we begin to feel closer and more unified with each other.  We can relate to our fellow man, but no one can know EXACTLY what hard times were like FOR YOU, as they can only feel how they've felt.  However, learning to have compassion and to mourn with those who mourn makes us better people.  

I'm so grateful that these ladies came by to buoy me up and share and commiserate with me today.  It's so comforting knowing that people understand the ups and downs of this experience and that they are always there to support me in the journey.  The strength from friendships as well as the prayers from loved ones both near and far goes so far in helping me keep on keepin' on.  

Cancer sucks, no matter how you look at it.  But, I consider myself lucky to have been given an opportunity to share the journey, to be an example of faith and perseverance, and to hopefully help others in overcoming and thriving during their own storms!  I have also been given a reason to not take any day or any moment for granted, to recognize the miracles in every day, and to live life to the fullest.  

Kicking cancer, one treatment at a time!  

PET Results

Just got off the phone.


"No evidence of viable disease."



HOORAY!


I can relax for another 3-4 months.

PET Scan and ECHO #3

Today  I had my nine-month scans.  

Last time around was difficult, as I was focused on all that could go wrong and what I would most likely face with another diagnosis.  Stephen ran into Dr. Fleener that day and mentioned my anxiety.  She assured him that they would do everything they needed to do and she would make sure they called as soon as they received the reports.  

Flash forward to this time around.  I didn't have nearly the same difficulties with my emotions.  (Perhaps I'd cried all my tears for the month already.)  I was surprised with some beautiful flowers from my mom and dad, which just made my day that much brighter!

Surprisingly enough, Stephen ran into Dr. Fleener AGAIN!  I'm taking it as a small "tender mercy" that lets me know that I am watched over and cared for, that all the prayers for comfort offered by friends, family, and even those who hardly know me are heard.  

By now, I've mostly figured this scan thing out.  I try to get them both on the same day, so I get it all over with and receive the reports the same day.  I check in early, so the chemo nurses can access my port, and I don't have to experience the pain of IVs.  (Hey, if I've got this port for the rest of my life, I might as well us it to my advantage!  Also, I thought it was funny how the techs in the PET weren't "trained" on how to remove my port needle, so I had to go back to my chemo nurses to have it taken out!)  I remember to bring a book or magazine to read, as I have to sit  for 45 minutes to an hour to let that radioactive isotope "sugar water" infiltrate my body.   Don't forget to wear comfy, warm clothes, as it's freezing in that room and I have to hold my arms above my head for the scan.  Also, there's no point in wearing jewelry only to have to remove it before lying down on the bed of the machine.  Next time, I'll just try to get an earlier appointment.  The earlier I finish the scan, the earlier I can actually eat more than protein and green, leafy veggies + water.  Fruit was calling my name!!!

Someone with the early appointment was 30 minutes late, which pushed my schedule off.  I originally had over an hour between scans to eat lunch, but had to rush with less than 30 minutes by the time I was done.  Yes, I was a few minutes late to check into my ECHO, but it worked out perfectly, as they were also running behind.  I had the same tech for this ECHO as my last one, so he remembered my case and was very kind.

The scans are over for another 3-4 months.  Now, we wait for results.