Balance

Homeostasis is a word I remember hearing from way back in my study of biology.  Amazingly, systems have a built-in sense of staying regulated and to constantly adjust variables in order to achieve the most consistency possible.  When one system gets off balance, other systems are in place to step up and help bring about order and return to homeostasis.  It's an incredible part of life and existence that I understood from a scientific view up until now.   The human body is no different.  I am actually living through the process of my body trying to achieve balance and return itself to a normal state of being.

Like balancing equations, when some process or action changes the balance, another change must occur to restore it.  My body is in pain caused by cancer.  Chemo and other treatments are introduced to try to remove the negative factors, but the side effects of these treatments leave other systems off-balance and out of proper order.  New drugs are added to offset the negative side effects, and it all becomes this constant battle between finding balance and restoring order.  My body is tired from fighting, but I have medicines that help me sleep and regain strength.  Some of these medicines cause my bowels to be irregular, but chemo is trying to swing that to the complete opposite side of the spectrum.  For the past few days, I can tell my body doesn't seem to know what to do.  Chemo is trying its hardest to disrupt the delicate balance, but the other drugs are battling back.  Somehow everything is working out to remain at a balanced point.

I can feel that even in a few days since having chemo, my pain has decreased and I seem to have a wider range of motion, even though I am constantly battling the fatigue of fighting.   This chemo is battling what has been causing me pain and breaking me down by breaking me down again and allowing my body the ability to rebuild itself.  Again, it's a way of finding balance through a paradox.

My throat is clearing up from the side effects of radiation, but I'm trying to figure out what I can eat.  Since my stomach is a little sensitive, even though foods might sound appetizing and I can actually swallow them now without pain, they do not always agree with me.  I was warned to stay away from spicy food, specifically Mexican, but this is one of my favorite things to eat!!!  When that is what sounds delicious and it doesn't hurt going down, it seems to be a win-win.  However, I'm figuring out that balance in this case can be best achieved by not attempting to swing to the extremes.  My lunch of quesadillas didn't sit well, I had no appetite for dinner, ate something just to eat, and ended up vomiting everything last night.  At least that was one way to get back to a balanced equation!

I'm still learning how all these treatments will effect me, but it's interesting to witness the systems in place to help my body try to return itself to a proper balance.