By Friday, things were not getting better, so I decided to drive down to Dr. Fleener's office and report to the nurses in order to get more fluids and talk about my symptoms before it got so bad over the weekend that I ended up in the ER.
After talking with Dr. Fleener, it was decided that I'd get fluids and having an MRI that day. I wasn't sure that was going to work, as Evan has a short day at preschool on Fridays, but there the nurses insisted that an MRI was happening that day.
I sat in the chair, crying and tired. Not sure what was wrong with me....just so tired.
My in-laws were able to pick up Evan and hang out with him for a few hours until the older boys got home from school.
I got some fluids, and the nurses used the right needle for my port that could also be used for the MRI contrast, so I didn't have to get another IV. (LOVE THEM!)
I headed down to the imaging center and waited to be called back.
At first, the tech wasn't sure she could use the needle through my port. I insisted she could and that I did NOT want an IV. Thankfully, she checked with the senior tech, who was happy to report that my port could be used---they just needed to pull out a bit more blood before collecting the real sample AND they had to go over to the ER to get Heparin to keep it from clotting up. (I'd probably get an ER charge for that....thanks.)
The MRI was fine and had no problems until they informed me that they could no remove that needle from my port, as they aren't trained for that. And, Dr. Fleener's office was closed, so I couldn't go back there. I immediately thought of texting Stephen to see if I could just come up to the OR and have some nurse remove it at his hospital. He said, "sure."
I hadn't eaten any lunch, and it was 2:15 at this point.
As I was waiting in the drive-thru lane, Dr. Fleener called. Like, 15 minutes after I got out of the imaging center. It couldn't be good.
She explained that the radiologist just called to tell her of the report of my MRI, and it wasn't good. There were several spots in my brain that looked abnormal, most likely cancer.
"Lovely," I responded.
"I used a much worse word when I heard the news, so you're better than I am!" she explained.
She set me up for an appointment with Dr. Goble, the radiation oncologist I worked with before.
She also sent in a steroid for me to take to hopefully help with the headaches and pressure.
I looked at the time, and realized that I wouldn't make it in time to get my older boys from school, so I called my friend to see if she could walk with them and explained why. It wasn't easy saying it out loud.
At this point, I texted Stephen back about taking the needle out, and asked if he could do it because I needed to talk to him.
Right after that, our bishop texted me saying that he'd been thinking about us all week and did I have any news (good or bad) from the tests.
I responded that I'd just gotten off the phone with my doctor 13 minutes ago and that there is cancer in my brain.
He apologized for texting so soon after hearing bad news, but the first thought that came to my mind was a testimony of the mantle of bishop that he has, especially after just being called to be a brand new bishop. He was sensitive to some of my most personal needs and followed that prompting to reach out. Since I hadn't even told Stephen or family yet, I figured I needed to take care of that first.
I called my mom on the way to Stephen's hospital, but got voicemail.
Stephen met me at the door and I told him immediately.
"Great," he said. "Like we don't have anything else to worry about, we'll just keep fighting this."
He pulled the needle out and had to get back to work.
Then came the hard part of telling people and crying and not being able to tell people because I was crying.
I had to pick up my meds, but just wanted to go home and not have to think about it.
It was a hard night, but at that point I had some hope that maybe we caught this early and there would be a treatment that could beat it back.
I'd find out more on Monday, and Dr. Fleener was on call all weekend if I needed her.
She did say that she could admit me to the hospital if I felt that this was that much of an emergency, but I felt it was fine to wait until Monday.
It was a long Saturday and Sunday, but there were lots and lots of prayers sent up on our behalf, our entire church family participating in a special fast for us, as well as wearing pink in support.
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