What was supposed to be a leisurely weekend in San Antonio turned into me unable to walk or talk or remember anything----an emergency ride back to College Station and a following hospital stay. I had aseptic meningitis, which caused encephalitis, and I basically skipped over three days of my life. I cannot remember much of Friday through Monday. It was scary and a terrible 40th birthday for Stephen. I was released yesterday, and I'm back at treatment today.
The good news is all the tests showed that my brain lesions have shrunk even further and everything else seems to be well. I'm just super tired and weak from being in bed for so long and am trying to take it slow. This whole thing also solidified what an amazing husband I have, how much he loves me, that my boys have been trained well, and that my in-laws are priceless, going above and beyond. We are only making it work between their help and service from friends.
Lately, I won't deny that I have asked, "Why?" quite a bit. What else do I need to endure to learn what I need to learn? What more? My family needs me! I want to be here for them and with them!
I found this small answer in scripture:
Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:
But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ?s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy. (1 Peter 4:12-13)
First, I know I am God's "Beloved." He knows me and loves me.
Next, trials are not unusual; we all have them, and they will help prove that we are on Christ's side and seeking to learn the things He would have us learn.
Who knows how much more I'll be called to endure, but for now, I'm hoping to endure it well. (Minus that little episode when I didn't know what I was saying and yelled at my kids, "I WANNA EAT MAXO! I WANNA EAT MAXO!!! Maxo was Grandma's dog, and apparently I was trying to say I wanted Mexican food for dinner! I'm sure we'll laugh about that for years to come!)
For now, I'm back in remission!
And, Mexican food doesn't sound too bad!
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